This & That: Dating + 1.

Dating has never been easy for me and now that I am a mother it continues to get even more complicated as the years go on. The one problem I have is any man that I do begin growing interested in takes that as a sign that they can or will come before my daughter. I’ve never understood this logic but I’ve come across a few men who believe that I would just let them around my daughter at any given time just because he wants to see me or that I would try to get someone else to watch my daughter during out time together and go out on a potential date. All wrong. When dealing with me I let men know upfront I’m a full time mom and I work a full time job, I sometimes even let them know my schedule so they will understand when I’m free and when I’m not but I’m still open to communicating via phone even when I’m in full mom work mode. This is usually when I can tell a man is truly interested in me or not because he will pay attention to all the details of my life that I’m letting him in on and this is when I find out whether he’s worth keeping around or simply going on about my life. This may be the reason I am still single. There have been some men that have stuck around longer than a week or maybe even a month but I have not found that one and I am ok with that. These years that I have been in and out of the dating pool have taught me a lot about myself and what I accepted before my daughter and what I am willing to accept now.

The only rule I have is never put a man or woman before your child and never put your children in danger of being hurt or around someone that is unfamiliar, that’s the most scariest thing to me

Check out some more tips below that I try to follow:
1.    Don’t go out with just anyone. It’s ok to be selective. 
2.    Do try online dating. Social Media seems to be such a big trend lately  maybe a little online dating won’t hurt. 
3.    Don’t have expectations or timelines. This is one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make. 
4.    Do be honest and upfront. Always be honest as to what you are looking for and where you are at currently in your life. 
5.    Do keep an open mind and be flexible
6.    Don’t introduce him to your kids right away and don’t rush things. Take your time once you get your children involved there’s no coming back from that if things do not work out.

Darianne said...

I met Nikki on tumblr! I wasn't even looking to date but here we are now almost 4 years later, married. I suggest people give it a shot too!

Mia J said...

Really?! That's sooo sweet I didn't even know that and I've ready all the stories that you guys have posted about each other, y'all are really cute together. Gives me hope! I don't mind dating online or even meeting guys on social media but sadly the ones I always like live sooo far away! The men in my area are just looking for "one thing" most of the time. But I won't give up everyone deserves happiness.

Mia J said...


Anonymous said...

Interesting I must say

Carla said...

I don't blame your stance on this one bit. People are CRAZY and the more I read about things in the news, the more careful I am, even with my current boyfriend. Exes are crazy and "fans" are crazy on BOTH sides so I feel I can never be too careful. Better safe than sorry. I went a whoke year and a half before I found someone new because I didnt have time for the BS or putting forth any effort to get BS and time wasted in return. Take your time and stand by your beliefs.

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