Sunday Motivation


Chasity's 4th Birthday!

Sorry for such the delay in this post but I’ve just been doing some life cleansing which will be explained in another post as of right now here are some pictures [no edits] from Chasity’s birthday that I had for her back in November. Her party was amazing and she enjoyed every minute of it as well as her Christmas!

















Sunday Motivation


Him: Potential Rapist.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation to where you start questioning your self because you saw all the warning signs but you didn’t take heed to them? I’m not saying as women we should blame ourselves when we are put into situations like this but we have to start listening to our instincts more because mine were going off loud and clear but I still thought it was ok for us to chill up until he begun getting a little more aggressive and then said “oh so you want to fight” while forcing kisses upon me.... this is where I went into panic mode. I had to think quickly and luckily he calmed down with me asking questions of where is this going? Are you looking for a relationship with me? It was weird questions that I begin asking my potential attacker but in that moment I was scared for my life. I was one of many lucky women who got out of the situation by derailing with questions and stating that I needed to get back to my friends. This situation haunted me for months on end after it happened.... not only were we friends on twitter at the time but Instagram as well. He eventually deleted me a week later and I was thankful for that because I blocked him on EVERY social media platform that I had and I still do to this day if he pops up.



I have only told one person about this story and I didn’t know if I would truly be open to sharing it. But I feel there is a lot of people or women that come across my blog and if I can help someone by telling my experience or what I’ve been through I will. Young adults don’t understand how men and women can prey on them and take advantage in a split second and have you damaged for the rest of your life. If you feel that someone isn’t right.... go with that instinct and run as fast as you can.









LWM: October Playlist



Sunday Motivation


From A Wildflower



One of the many blogs that I follow [FromA Wildflower] and adore has featured me in their 100 Millennial Lifestyle Bloggers of Color and to say I’m honored is an understatement. I know a lot of times I will go on these disappearing acts and then I end up not blogging for half of the year or maybe even a year at a time but I’m thankful that people still find my little corner in the blogging world and still enjoy the content and what I have to offer to many people out there reading blogs still. Please check out the post over at  [From A Wildflower] and these other amazing bloggers as well.

Also my blog roll has been updated of some of these beautiful and amazing women. Thank you guys @ From A Wildflower, especially KimberlyLuxe.

Sunday Motivation

If no one else tells you today, just a reminder.

Him: Plenty of Fish



So this installment of him is about my experience with online dating, as most of you know I’m single but of course I’ve been entertaining the idea of having someone in my life. Clearly god is taking his time making this special man for me as I am still being molded for him as well. However, let me not sidetrack you guys with my god and me and get to the point of this him.

I recently tried out POF [Plenty of Fish] at the beginning of the year and all I can say was that it was whirlwind of weirdo’s and then some potentially nice men. I heard about this site through my best friend and thought “hey let me give it a try” since in this generation most people are finding their loved ones 3,000 miles away or even online but in the same area as they live in. However, being on this site for maybe a month or so I agree to two dates.

The first date was with a guy who was simply a jerk, the conversation and communication was amazing between us or so I thought up until our date. He took me to the movies to see Deadpool [which was an amazing movie] however, in the middle of the movie not even 30 minutes in he stated he had an emergency and that his daughter was in the ER. I told him it was fine and to go handle his business, he kept apologizing and even had the nerve to show me a picture of his daughter in the ER. The reason for me saying he had the nerve is wait for it...it was all a lie to get out of the date, his daughter was never in the ER, the picture was old and dated but I’m guessing she was the excuse he used to get out of MANY dates with women because of course after watching the movie alone I called him the next day and of course I was blocked. His status on POF eventually changed from looking for something serious to just looking for fun. I can’t say my self-esteem didn’t take a hit because it did but I still pressed on hoping to give the site another chance.

This brings us to date number two, me and this guy started off sending lengthy messages on POF before it escalated to us texting and calling each other late at night with amazing conversations. I already knew not to get my hopes up as I had already been left out in the cold before. However, we finally went out to eat and the conversation and laughter was still flowing at this point, which is a shocker to me because people will go in with sooo many expectations and end up disappointed in the end. But for some reason sitting at that table I felt no spark, I didn’t get butterflies, nor did I feel like this is someone I could potentially see myself with for the long haul. It resulted in us seeing each other one more weekend before I went on vacation and then finally cut off all communication with him as well as parting ways with POF. 

Like I stated before god is taking his time making this special man for me as I am still being molded for him as well.



2014-2016: Counting my Blessings

All I can say is that I’m thankful for god for directing my path along this journey of mine, as most of you know in 2014 I moved into my first apartment with me and my daughter in tow. It was a big accomplishment since me buying my first car back in 2012 [click here if you haven’t read it]. I’ve been telling myself every year that I’m going to accomplish something new and continue to prosper in my life as long as god is guiding my direction. In 2015 I moved into my first house, a nice three bedroom, two bathroom home. It’s my little house on the hill [I plan to do a home tour from the pictures of when I first moved in up until 2017 more than likely because I’m not done updating the inside]. & Now in 2016 I am blessed again to buy a new car and replace the old car that was bought in 2012 [a used impala that had about 99,000 miles on it to a new 2016 Honda civic coupe with 0 miles on it].








I continue to pray to god and thank him for all he’s done, sometimes I seriously don’t know how I got so blessed but I continue to walk in the path he’s directing and never questioning what he has for me is for me. I’ve had my new car for months now but just decided to share that no matter what you may be going through or been through god is always there guiding your path and making sure you are prepared for the blessings he presents to you. I know that the last two things on my list deal with me eventually going back to school and finish my last year but right now my work schedule isn’t flexible enough nor am I down for taking any more loans but I know that the time will come. I’m accomplishing everything I set out that I would little by little and I know the next steps are to finish school and eventually get married. That last part is another story for another day however.

L Review: Halo Top Ice Cream





 
I have a major sweet tooth and with having a sweet tooth for anything chocolate or ice cream I’m always looking to try something new. But when I came across this recent fad I gave in and tried it [I wasn’t a fan of talenti when that fad was going on, to me I’ve had a lot of gelato living in Germany most of my life and that definitely doesn’t taste like the amazing gelato I’ve received].

However, Halo Vanilla Bean lived up to the hype and much more. Most vanilla bean ice creams (breyers, as an example) have the nasty particles of bean within the ice cream and it leaves a god-awful after taste. Halo doesn’t however, its nice and smooth and amazing to the taste. I’ve never been more excited about an ice cream that contains protein and only 240 calories per pint up until now, I haven’t got my hands on any other flavors and I’m not sure if I want to since vanilla bean was simply amazing I don’t want to destroy my excitement by trying other flavors and then being disappointed. If anyone else has tried any other flavors of halo top please let me know so I can know which flavor to try next.



Halo Top Vanilla Bean 

Happy 1st Birthday to Zoey




This post is late but the weekend of Sept 17th I went to my niece’s first birthday, it was bitter sweet being back where I once grew up at [Fayetteville, NC]. However, the party was beautiful and she was happy and that’s all that matters. More pictures will be posted below: 






  

L Review: Lush Cosmetics

 
This past weekend we took a trip to Charlotte and of course while in the mall I noticed they built a Lush Cosmetics, I’ve heard so many good things about their stuff and was very excited to try it. I didn’t get any bath bombs this time around but I may just order some online because I fell in love with their soaps.

The two items that I decided on was the mask of magnaminty and layer cake (which I absolutely loved).



Mask of Magnaminty

Mask of Magnaminty isn’t technically a daily ‘facial wash’; it’s actually a deep cleansing face and back mask. China clay and fresh peppermint reach deep down to pull the debris from your pores, giving you that delightful tingly-clean sensation (via lushcosmetics.com). When I first tried the face mask at the store it was amazing, my skin felt flawless but I'm guessing because she tried it on my hand it worked to her advantage because when I began using it on my face it did not work the same. I was a little unhappy on the results but I loved the tingling and fresh feeling it gave.


Layer cake


Layer cake consists of the sweetest, juiciest rainbow you'll ever feel; this multicolored soap is made with five real fruit juices! Grape, orange, blueberry, pineapple and raspberry juice each lend their tart, zesty aromas for a combined scent that leaves you feeling fresh and fruity (via lushcosmetics.com). This soap smells and feels amazing, it left my skin feeling soft and refreshed and even works on the body the same. I also used the soap to clean my brushes and this is the cleanest they have ever been.

LWM : August Playlist




August Playlist of the month.

4 Month Hiatus.



Sorry for such the long break between posts again, I said this year I would get more involved with my blog and social media but I have lacked on both and now the new year of 2017 is rolling right around. I’m excited about the new content and the direction I plan to go in thought so I hope most of you are still watching and reading. I have been working on tweaking the layout and putting some things together so please be patient with me as I work to be more consistent and bring content that I love and I'm hoping my readers love as well.


Photography

New Camera, New Photography? That sounds all but too cliché huh, lol.


Recently, I did splurge a little and bought a Canon t2i, I thought it was time that I upgrade to a camera with full video mode and come back to what I use to love doing, taking photos. When Chasity was born I took pictures of every and any thing the camera was connected to my hip as well as my iPhone but after she turned 2 she wasn’t at all excited about taking photos and neither was I for some reason so I just became sheltered a little. Lately I’ve been trying to build back up my momentum as well as share a little more then what I’ve been sharing before so if you wanted to check out my Flickr account that’s where I plan to share more photography as well as updates on here but for now Flickr would be the main location. 

Recent Photos I took today for my sister's prom [she was beautiful, my mother also made the dress]: 






Him: Blast From the Past



Recently an old fling that I dealt with about two years ago reached out to me, last I heard he was in a relationship so when I got a text message from him saying “Hey beautiful, I’ve been looking for you and I’m now a single man” I gave the side eye to that text but proceeded with caution before responding.

At this point we’ve been communicating for about a month or so and I already see why I stopped talking to him so many years ago, inconsistency. You would think any man that is trying to pursue you and “not lose you again” would be open to communication, trying to make an effort to go out on dates or even show you that he is interested beyond what he’s typing or saying but actions. But like any parent tells you when growing up “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”.

This morning while checking on recent blog updates Men Can’t Let Go by G L Lambert [amazing blog and books, check it out] came up and it was like an answer to everything I have been thinking, I know my worth but I had almost fell in to that cycle that I fought so hard to get out of and that was settling. We as women sometimes find comfort in getting back in to an old flame or situation because it’s familiar and we don’t like the unknown. But I rather deal with the unknown than deal with a situation that I was in before.... there’s a reason for why you stopped talking to someone or dealing with their antics and even though I second-guessed myself and had a moment of weakness I am focused and determined to continue on the path I’ve been on. 


LWM : April Playlist


 
Instead of music spotlight I decided to make Life With Mia playlists each month featuring the top 5 songs I've been playing constantly all month. Enjoy ! :) 

Sunday Motivation

 
 
 

Am I Dating Too Much?


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I know lately I have posted a lot of things pertaining to relationships and what I may be going through right now in my life but one thing that stood out the most is my current “dating” situation. I really don’t know if I would call it a situation but this has been the most I have dated in my entire twenty-seven years of living. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing to admit to.  


Let me just be honest, in the past month I have been on at least 3-4 dates and not one of these dates turned into a second date and that’s pretty much by choice [by the end of the night I have already come to the conclusion that I have no feelings or connection with the person I just shared a meal + small talk with and a couple of laughs, which sucks but happens more often that I would like to say]. 


The more I go out on these date the more I feel as though maybe I am searching for something that I should not be looking for [everything should come natural and not forced] so that has put me back into the space I was in before, happy being single. One thing that I can admit to is that I have been the happiest I have ever been in the last two years being single, it gave me the time and drive to realize what it is I want out of life in more ways than one. 


Question is was I dating too much? Maybe or maybe not, who’s to say? I just know when that right person comes along for me I will not have to question it, search for it, or even second-guess it I will know.

Sunday Motivation | Happy Easter!


Family Vacation : Myrtle Beach

Just a quick update, Chassy & I recently took a weekend trip to the beach since the last time I took her was in 2013 [previous post click here]. It was peaceful, weather was great, food was amazing, however, she was scared of the ocean, which was weird and funny. As soon as we hit the water she took off running as soon as the tides rolled in. Hopefully I can take her back again this summer. :)



This & That : Foundation Woes

21 is the age that I started exploring foundations, concealers, and eye shadows. I’ve always been confident about my appearance but if there was things that I could change or explore with make up I was all for it. The only problem is when I started out I only trusted and used one foundation or concealer and that was Mary Kay Bronze 607, the best make up I could ever use in my life however, after they discontinued this shade it was becoming harder and harder to find someone who still had this shade. The new Mary Kay formulas are too oily for my already oily skin so I was not a fan when they decided to change things up.

Foundation. “Beauty and makeup and color is like the finishing touch on everything” –Marc Jacobs




In the past year however, I have become a fan of different drug store and inexpensive foundations [Black Radiance, Brownie – Maybelline Matte Fit Me, Mocha & L’Oreal infallible Pro Matte, Cocoa] and thought I would share for all the women who may have been skeptical about certain brands of foundations to try.
 L'Oreal Infallible Pro Matte -
Black Radiance -
Maybelline Matte Fit Me -

Sunday Motivation


Mommy in Me: Zoo Trip

I absolutely love going to the Zoo and my job offered us a chance at getting a discounted membership last year, which I jumped at. When I got the membership of course is when it started getting cold so I had to wait a few months before Chasity and I could start going [she absolutely loves the zoo too, elephants are her favorite]. 

Thought I would just share some pictures from our recent trip...I’m sure we will take more and more each time we go.




Music Spotlight : Alina Baraz

This & That: Dating + 1.

Dating has never been easy for me and now that I am a mother it continues to get even more complicated as the years go on. The one problem I have is any man that I do begin growing interested in takes that as a sign that they can or will come before my daughter. I’ve never understood this logic but I’ve come across a few men who believe that I would just let them around my daughter at any given time just because he wants to see me or that I would try to get someone else to watch my daughter during out time together and go out on a potential date. All wrong. When dealing with me I let men know upfront I’m a full time mom and I work a full time job, I sometimes even let them know my schedule so they will understand when I’m free and when I’m not but I’m still open to communicating via phone even when I’m in full mom work mode. This is usually when I can tell a man is truly interested in me or not because he will pay attention to all the details of my life that I’m letting him in on and this is when I find out whether he’s worth keeping around or simply going on about my life. This may be the reason I am still single. There have been some men that have stuck around longer than a week or maybe even a month but I have not found that one and I am ok with that. These years that I have been in and out of the dating pool have taught me a lot about myself and what I accepted before my daughter and what I am willing to accept now.


The only rule I have is never put a man or woman before your child and never put your children in danger of being hurt or around someone that is unfamiliar, that’s the most scariest thing to me


Check out some more tips below that I try to follow:
 
1.    Don’t go out with just anyone. It’s ok to be selective. 
2.    Do try online dating. Social Media seems to be such a big trend lately  maybe a little online dating won’t hurt. 
3.    Don’t have expectations or timelines. This is one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make. 
4.    Do be honest and upfront. Always be honest as to what you are looking for and where you are at currently in your life. 
5.    Do keep an open mind and be flexible
6.    Don’t introduce him to your kids right away and don’t rush things. Take your time once you get your children involved there’s no coming back from that if things do not work out.
 



 

Him: It’s not you, it’s Me.

December 2012.
It was a month after I had my daughter and I was scrolling through Instagram that's how I met him again. I smiled as I browsed through his photos because he was no longer the boy we all saw around the way in high school but he had now grown into a man, which peaked my interest. I instantly hit follow and soon after that he hit me with a follow back and we begin sparking up conversation. One thing I knew is that I kept a low radar when it came to keeping in contact with others from high school because of the simple fact people act off of fake emotion. They pretend as though they are interested in where your life has gone and where it's headed but in reality they are not. But for a moment I was happy that someone was acknowledging me. I was broken and so was he, which was a lethal combination that should have never been mixed but it was too late to go back now.  

Jan 2013 - June 2013.
Back in December was the first time we met in person since high school and since it wasn't the ideal location (my parents home) we opted to meet again but this time with me visiting him at his house a few hours away. When I got there we chilled, talked, and expressed things that had built up and bothered us over time especially with our recent failed relationships the year prior and things only going further down hill for both of our situations now. 

This was the spark that I felt for him...the acknowledgment and that we could sit back relating to each other's issues with our children's parents. However, that wasn't where it stopped the sex was amazing and that's where the lines blurred with us. When people tell you sex complicates a thing that’s exactly what it did but yet I felt as though there was a spark there when in reality there was nothing there but a void we both were trying to fill. 

Eventually I grew out of the sexcapades and the need of this dysfunctional "friendship" as he called it when he brought an ex from high school into the picture as well. I felt bad for her because not only had he been playing with me and my emotions he would now be playing with her emotions for his own selfish reasons. Any man that can lay with me one week and then lay with her the next is not the man for her or me and after finding that out I pretty much cut off all communication with him.

Present
To this day we don't talk not even as friends, the history of our sexcapades and friendship ran its course and I moved on with my life. I was ready for a relationship with him in the fantasy world we lived in [that spark was the only thing that had me feeling different about this reality] but he kept feeding me the "I'm not ready" or "you are exactly the type of woman I need" but it all ended with "Its not you, it's me" or maybe I was making more of our situation than he ever was. 


He did move on just a few months later back at the end of 2013 with his new baby and now fiancé though, that's a big move for someone who was not ready.



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