Rushing to the altar.

After sharing the news that you're pregnant to family and friends you start to wonder and think about who's judging you or looking at you as though "yeah she's about to be another statistic". Why is it that if you have a baby out of wedlock people have so many things to say then? I believe just because you have a baby with someone you don't have to rush to the altar, the person you have a child with doesn't mean that's the person you're suppose to spend the rest of your life with. We often confuse and lose ourselves in relationships and we truly lose ourselves when a child is involved however, you don't have to lose yourself forever.

In situations as these the child should always come first, not what you and the other person believe is right for yourselves or because of what "other people are saying". People will always talk no matter if you are doing right or wrong. I'll just say this, I'm not rushing to the altar for anyone at this point. When I know it's the right person and it's the right time I'll do so, a child shouldn't be the only factor you should marry someone it should be the love and happiness that you feel for that person. When it's right....
you will know.
Darianne said...

I agree 1000% with this. I do not believe whatsoever you need to be married to have a baby. I made a whole post about this on tumblr a couple of months back, because I seen a tweet that the fake Wiz Khalifa made saying "Beyonce fell in love, got married, then had a baby. Take notes ladies" I thought it was ignorant, because like you said as long as the child is taken care of, the marital status of the parents DO NOT matter. If I get pregnant before I'm married, so be it. My child will be taken care of, ring or not.

Shakemia Meekyleia said...

Yes I have to admit I was one of those people who believed you needed to be married but after enduring my situation and understanding others. It's all about the child and protecting that child from pain or misfortunate that a relationship can bring. It's ok when it's just you and the other person but a baby will change sooo many things for you. I just know the child will be happy and well taken care of! :)

Shakemia Meekyleia said...

Yes I have to admit I was one of those people who believed you needed to be married but after enduring my situation and understanding others. It's all about the child and protecting that child from pain or misfortunate that a relationship can bring. It's ok when it's just you and the other person but a baby will change sooo many things for you. I just know the child will be happy and well taken care of! :)

devotedcharm said...

a woman after my own heart! get it bestie! some of these idiots need to be schooled all the way around i know a few women who had their kids before marriage as well pushing college, work, being a mother and having the support of family all at the same time and still came out winning! college graduates to the max hunnie! the funny thing is the ppl who are quick to judge are usually the ones who dont have kids still aint bout shit never gonna be shit and just down right dont have a pot to piss in... you ever notice the full time college mothers have way more to show for and then some? mhm yea ill wait....

Shakemia Meekyleia said...

Shoot even some of the people who are judging have kids and got them in worse ways than anybodies situation ya know. For some reason there's a different type of drive for a single mother or a mother who has to do everything on her own with no support. You know how I feel about this situation or any situation. It's all in gods plans not ours.

Brook said...

I agree 100% with you! My daughter was out of wedlock and me and her father are not together and it would have been disastrous if we would have married because of it. I would have been miserable and in turn, my daughter would have sensed that too. People talk but I ignore them because they don't know the reason behind everything ;-). I was of legal age anyways, I can make my own decisions, lol.

Shakemia Meekyleia said...

I love that! That's almost like my situation now, I was ok when it was just me in the relationship and dealing with what I was dealing with but once I ended up pregnant I knew I had to not only protect myself but the child as well. I wasn't happy & I'm ok with people talking or even the father talking about me. What people forget is that once a baby is involved its bigger than the relationship or anyone's judgement. So kudos to you & me lol

Tamara said...

Even though I am not a mother (or mother-to-be) and I am no where near marriage, I still agree with you. People seem to forget, even though a couple are married there STILL are problems that cause them to get divorced...and to me that is even worse. A union between two people is supposed to be forever in the sight of God. So why rush into it? I want as much time as possible to make sure the move i am making is the right one. Getting married several times seems to be such a waste of energy, feelings, and time. Enjoy your pregnancy for what it is girlie!

Rae said...

I completely agree with this. I meant to comment the other day when I followed but idk what happen. In this day in age too many people are rushing to get married over the wrong reasons which I believe is why the divorce rate has skyrocketed. Honestly, getting married JUST BECAUSE of the child is not a good idea in the long run. You marriage will have a lot of problems and because of it your child could actually get the wrong idea of marriage. As long as the child is taken care of, both parents are supportive and the child know its loved, that's all that matters.

Congrats on your pregnancy. Xoxo <3

@rarerosebomb said...

I agree with a 100%. I hate when someone family forces them to marry their bf because she pregnant. That's not the way to do.

http://thathaitiangirl.com/

Shakemia Meekyleia said...

@Tamara; thanks hun !

@Rae; it's ok, I'm just glad you responded. I never want my child to get the wrong impression of the situation between me and their father because we aren't together and I won't attempt to make a relationship work just because of the child when I know in my heart it's wrong on so many levels. Sadly that's how he thinks and so does his mother, like it's wrong to raise a child in different households. My parents are both products of being raised by single parents and they turned out great. Thank you xoxo

@rarerosebomb; I know what you mean ! in the south they call that the "shot gun wedding" when their daughters get pregnant and they force the child's father to marry her. I wish someone would make me rush to get married lol

Miya said...

Hey, shit happens.. Just because you get pregnant by a guy, that does not mean you should run off and get married. I am one who wanted to be married first-then have a baby and I did it that way.. but there will be negatives either way you go. People are gonna find any aspect of your life to knit pick about.

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